The Isle of Isms (Episode 4)

Previously, on the Isle of Isms, Nazism’s violent spree was successfully brought down by Democracy and Activism. The rest are now discussing what to do with him. Sadism seems to think sentencing him to death by electric chair would be appropriate, much to the dismay of Pacifism and Environmentalism, with the latter arguing that it’s a waste of energy.


Activism: Ok seriously people, let’s get down to business here.

Democracy: Well, since there’s so much debate over whether we should electrocute Nazism, let’s have a show of votes.

Fascism: Screw you and your voting. I’m not taking part in this crap. I’m off.

Socialism: Yeah, me too.

Marxism: Wait up, I’m coming too.

*Fascism, Marxism and Socialism storms off*

Communism: Arrrgghh! Damn you Capitalism and Democracy! You haven’t seen the last of us yet! We’ll be back! Hey guys wait up...

*Communism runs off after them*

Totalitarianism: As much as I’d like to storm off too, I think I’ll stay and watch what happens. I need to report everything to Big Brother.

Capitalism: Meh... Whatever.

Democracy: Sigh. Since we’ve finally gotten rid of them, let’s have a show of votes here. Who thinks Nazism should be spared?

*Pacifism, Utopianism, Environmentalism, Realism, Optimism, Democracy and Religion raises up their hands*

Democracy: Ok... that’s 7 votes. And the rest? Who wants Nazism to be electrocuted to death?

*Sadism, Totalitarianism, Science, Capitalism, Nihilism, Pessimism, Cynicism, Activism and Mathematics raises up their hands*

Democracy: Wow that’s 9 votes to 7... sigh... who hasn’t voted yet?

Realism: Dude, it doesn’t matter. It’s kinda obvious the majority wants Nazism’s ass fried.

Democracy: Yes, I know, but every vote counts! Your vote is as important as anyone else’s!

Cynicism: Bah! Yeah right... that’s what they always tell you and in the end it’s all rigged up anyway.

Mathematics: I’m 99.99999% sure Post Modernism hasn’t voted.

Post Modernism: The main theme of the works of Spelling is the absurdity, and eventually the dialectic, of preconstructive sexual identity. Bataille uses the term ‘Sartreist absurdity’ to denote the role of the writer as artist. However, Baudrillard suggests the use of textual libertarianism to read and modify narrativity.

Democracy: Erm... Post Modernism? Would you like to cast your vote?

Post Modernism: The primary theme of Cameron’s critique of dialectic socialism is the role of the reader as observer. Prinn holds that we have to choose between textual feminism and the subcapitalist paradigm of discourse. Therefore, several theories concerning a mythopoetical paradox exist.

Democracy: ... ...

Mathematics: Anyone got an aspirin? I really can’t take it anymore...

Sadism: Look here you Post Modernism bastard, if you don’t start speaking sense soon I’m gonna go in there and shove a world of pain up your ass. And believe me, I’ll be laughing all the way.

Post Modernism: ... ...

Sadism: That’s better-

Post Modernism: The characteristic theme of McElwaine’s critique of dialectic socialism is the role of the writer as participant. Debord suggests the use of Batailleist `powerful communication’ to modify and read society. It could be said that Debord uses the term ‘textual libertarianism’ to denote the difference between class and society. If one examines Sartreist absurdity, one is faced with a choice: either reject neocultural textual theory or conclude that expression comes from the collective unconscious. The primary theme of the works of Pynchon is not, in fact, construction, but postconstruction. But in V, Pynchon denies dialectic socialism; in Vineland he examines the submaterialist paradigm of consensus. Sartreist absurdity states that art is capable of significance, given that the premise of textual libertarianism is invalid. Thus, Bataille uses the term ‘textual discourse’ to denote the role of the poet as reader.

Sadism: Why you mother$%#&%@#$@ son of a #%@%^$%@#%@# come here!

*Sadism lunges at Post Modernism*

Pacifism: Wait wait! Don’t! Look it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t vote alright! *Holds Sadism back*

Democracy: Fine fine. We’ll forget about Post Modernism’s vote. Annoying retard.

Post Modernism: The characteristic theme of Parry’s analysis of dialectic socialism is the common ground between sexual identity and society. Therefore, la Fournier implies that we have to choose between Sartreist absurdity and neostructural Marxism.

Realism: Sighhh...

Activism: Alright! So I guess we’ll be having Nazism electrocuted then! We’ll need a trial first though.

Nihilism: Justice is meaningless... there can be no true justice...

Optimism: Aww c’mon buddy, it’s not all that bad. The Law’s a pretty fair guy.

Pessimism: But what if The Law won’t listen to us? What if Nazism gets to live and later escapes and murders us one by one in our sleep! AAAAHHH!

The Law: WHO DARES QUESTION MY JUDGEMENTS!?

Pessimism: AAAAHHHH! The Law is here! We’re all going to die! AAAAHHH!

Realism: Actually, it’s just you buddy.


*TO BE CONTINUED*



- The State of Nonsense -